My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
