Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
