just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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