How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
