you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
