There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
