Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
