Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
