If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
