ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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