I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
