So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We are two peas in an std pod
You took a bar mat shot.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
