i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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