I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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