No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
