ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
