oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
