I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
