after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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