That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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