i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
