Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
