Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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