Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
