I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
