no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
