i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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