That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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