Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
