Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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