Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
