vagina is talking i cant
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
God, I missed his penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
