**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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