he thought i was a dude.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
