I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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