If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
did i walk over a car last night?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
