it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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