covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
