Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
