He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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