I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
