i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
