OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize