i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
