Dual....:-)
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
