his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
