Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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