If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
