That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
