i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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