when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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