It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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