weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
