Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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