Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My hand turned me down
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
