My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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