he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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