If that was your dad, he is hot
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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