nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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