You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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