Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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