HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
