five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
