Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize