U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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